I thought i would share my feelings on this subject. I know many moms who feel similar to the way I feel about this specific topic, and I wanted to be a voice in the darkness...lol
I don't understand why or how, but many people have the inclination to correct a mother...that is to step between her and her child. There is a line that has been crossed many a time and for many a mother.
It starts with family. Most of the time, a new mom welcomes advice from her predecessors. And mostly, they oblige freely and with pure intentions.
Next come the friends and colleagues and extended relations...advice starts pouring in from all angles...
That is all well and good until someone gets the idea that they have a better understanding of how things should get done (speaking of course about how this child should be taken care of).
The bond between a mother and child is like none other. Mom knows what each cry sounds like, the difference between them and what each means (I'm hungry, I'm dirty, I'm cold, I'm cranky)...no one else can know this unless they are the primary caregiver.
Each mother develops a special and individual bond with their child. The old saying "Mother knows best" always comes to mind when I think of this.
Here is a list of examples of Do's and Do Not's that may help illustrate what I am getting at here:
-When a mother decides to breastfeed her child for a longer time than you deem appropriate, DO NOT comment. This is none of your business regardless of your relation to said mother.
-When a mother asks you for your thoughts on extended breastfeeding DO give her some great articles you read on the subject, this is helpful!
-When Mommy says No, DO NOT say anything to the contrary, do not get involved and do not argue.
-If you have an issue with an interaction a mother has with her child in your home or somewhere that belongs to you (car, office, yard) Politely ask her to refrain from those actions under your roof.
-Obviously if a mother is beating her child Anywhere, DO call CPS (let's use common sense here people, a spanking is not abuse)
-If a mother tells you her child is not to watch TV, DO NOT sit him/her in front of a baby genius DVD because you think she is being unreasonable.
-If Mom puts child in timeout, DO NOT go and talk to the child or make snide remarks about how she is being silly.
-When Mommy gets up to discipline her child, DO continue the conversation and mind your own P's and Q's.
-When Mom has a concern about her child, DO NOT tell her to "calm down" or that she is "overreacting" , You do not know her child like she does...let it be.
-If you don't like someones mothering tendencies, feel free not to invite them over, We don't want someone constantly obnoxiously confusing to our children by second guessing us all the time anyhow.
So, long story short, let Mom do the mothering and stop judging everything she is doing. This job is hard enough without someone being a busy body all the time! In short, don't get involved, it is not your place. Period. You don't understand, whether you think you do or not.
Alright, I think we all know where I stand. This all stems from an insurmountable amount of frustration I have experienced. You can not imagine (unless you are in this boat) the unreal amount of pressure moms face everyday. If even one person GETS IT from this blog, I will have done a service to some mom, somewhere. Thanks for reading!
I don't understand why or how, but many people have the inclination to correct a mother...that is to step between her and her child. There is a line that has been crossed many a time and for many a mother.
It starts with family. Most of the time, a new mom welcomes advice from her predecessors. And mostly, they oblige freely and with pure intentions.
Next come the friends and colleagues and extended relations...advice starts pouring in from all angles...
That is all well and good until someone gets the idea that they have a better understanding of how things should get done (speaking of course about how this child should be taken care of).
The bond between a mother and child is like none other. Mom knows what each cry sounds like, the difference between them and what each means (I'm hungry, I'm dirty, I'm cold, I'm cranky)...no one else can know this unless they are the primary caregiver.
Each mother develops a special and individual bond with their child. The old saying "Mother knows best" always comes to mind when I think of this.
Here is a list of examples of Do's and Do Not's that may help illustrate what I am getting at here:
-When a mother decides to breastfeed her child for a longer time than you deem appropriate, DO NOT comment. This is none of your business regardless of your relation to said mother.
-When a mother asks you for your thoughts on extended breastfeeding DO give her some great articles you read on the subject, this is helpful!
-When Mommy says No, DO NOT say anything to the contrary, do not get involved and do not argue.
-If you have an issue with an interaction a mother has with her child in your home or somewhere that belongs to you (car, office, yard) Politely ask her to refrain from those actions under your roof.
-Obviously if a mother is beating her child Anywhere, DO call CPS (let's use common sense here people, a spanking is not abuse)
-If a mother tells you her child is not to watch TV, DO NOT sit him/her in front of a baby genius DVD because you think she is being unreasonable.
-If Mom puts child in timeout, DO NOT go and talk to the child or make snide remarks about how she is being silly.
-When Mommy gets up to discipline her child, DO continue the conversation and mind your own P's and Q's.
-When Mom has a concern about her child, DO NOT tell her to "calm down" or that she is "overreacting" , You do not know her child like she does...let it be.
-If you don't like someones mothering tendencies, feel free not to invite them over, We don't want someone constantly obnoxiously confusing to our children by second guessing us all the time anyhow.
So, long story short, let Mom do the mothering and stop judging everything she is doing. This job is hard enough without someone being a busy body all the time! In short, don't get involved, it is not your place. Period. You don't understand, whether you think you do or not.
Alright, I think we all know where I stand. This all stems from an insurmountable amount of frustration I have experienced. You can not imagine (unless you are in this boat) the unreal amount of pressure moms face everyday. If even one person GETS IT from this blog, I will have done a service to some mom, somewhere. Thanks for reading!
